Just getting caught up on all this, Not totally waist deep in the drama, just...focusing on confusion, and after a can of Monster this sits not good in my gut >_<;

I mean, yeah i'm not a big fan of Sef or Darsh, since both of them scare me shitless. whenever they talk to me it's like the eye of sauron I just want to GTFO, or say anything to get away from them, out of fear, that became aparrent when while I was checking out the Magic sim of the Konoha Naruto RP last year (September 6th 07), Darshe complained to Kiba about my finest peice of work saying about Midgar in Nairi's profile, then complained to me about this-

"[16:53] Frostie Flora: the best way to possibley describe Midgar now; Is like a Kid, running freely downhill, then a giant monster truck wheel with spikes rolls down the hill also, running over the kid, and then another kid, and another one. eventually turning into the non-stop wheel going downhill covered in corpses and spikes.
I concur, Frostie-chan. I concur."

I can't even look at the freaking chat log I had with Darsh about it. and I am ashamed at what I said to get him to shut up, or to leave me alone back then, yes I did have some fun times with him and Kiba as PSYCHO's. but now it's their group, theirs to do whatever they want with it. i'm not qualified, nor suited to being a leader of anything. PSYCHO and Kupo express taught me that much.
once things get topsy tervy I can't steer the boat out of the fire.

but then I remember things like chat logs like this-

[21:01] Yuge Recreant: well, I'm gonna look cute and try and guilt trip Fwostie
[21:01] Seishin Hyun: =D
[21:02] Seishin Hyun looks cuter
[21:02] You: if you men can hold your panties until wensday i'll make a donation to the cause. XD
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: D: ...frostie..its taunting us
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: HOW CAN YOU LET IT TAUNT US!?
[21:02] You: I SAID HOLD YOUR GOD DAMN PANTIES
[21:02] You: XD
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: WEDNESDAY!?
[21:02] You: YES
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: I REFUSE DAMNIT
[21:02] Yuge Recreant: yesXD
[21:02] You: I REFUSE YOUR REFUSAL
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: I REFUSE
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: YOUR REFUSAL
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: OF MY
[21:02] Seishin Hyun: REFUSE
[21:03] You: I REFUSE YOU TIMES INFINININITYITY.
[21:03] Seishin Hyun: oh snap

and smile, cause even half brained ideas that fail, are not the worthy endevour. it's getting there with friends, it's not about the destination it's about how you get there. and I wonder what the original people who made Midgar were thinking, when they all got together, what would have happend if when I came to Midgar I took a different path? what if Ramsus wasn't there to scare the hell out of me from joining ShinRa? would I be here writeing this? would I know a Yuges or a Jordies or a Edwards or a Sixpences? would I know these awesome people right now or would they be just aquaintances?

so I believe Ramsus was there for a reason, Darshe was there for a reason. along the road that we go, and now the toilet has flushed and it has backed up freezeing hell over. I've got the couch, lets make popcorn, you guys get the blanket's we'll make a tent and have a movie marathon and do science until this shit's over. XD